Ok just a extremely short post to fulfill my blog requirements.

I have made my last(definitely considering that i go off to bear arms in a week)attempt at the problem...response was promising...and tomorrow would probably be a test of it... I hope it works.

WFL ended today,and it was like WOW! It both amazed me and baffled me at the same time. So many of my questions about God was answered...yet after that...so many new questions appeared. I guess this is a symbol of how vast God is and how finite we are bounded in our bodies of flesh. I suppose as I grow more I would know more...and when i go heaven I will know all...oh can't wait(and no I'm not entertaining suicidal thoughts)

Just one week more...and I'll know if I can handle change.

I bought my guitar today. Thanks to Rayson and Aquila for helping the ignorant choose. Its nice! Can't wait to perfect my non-existent skills.

Today was WFL(Know what you believe for me)Supposedly for believers of 1 year and above...which is so not me...but ok lar...relatively understood most of what was said... except for a few parts which seem to baffle most...so that's ok...

I feel ok whenever I have something to do... its always during free and easy that I feel like hell... its when theres no needed rule to interact that i never seem to integrate... well i've tried...and now... i've sort of given up... i've broken down so many times over this matter that i bet ppl who listen to my lamentations are also irritated by it... change brings no change...no change remains so... so i've decided not to change... if they dun want to do anything..i shall do nothing either... from now on...i shall only give help if ask...shall only interact if seeked...for i am tired of failing in this...

knowing me...i'll probably change my mind in hope...but i suppose its in vain since this is such a long time already...

It's over...the A levels are over... I didn't do up to my expectations...but I guess there's no point crying over spilled milk.

Big change in my life approaching...yet somehow I seem to be the only one that knows that I'm apprehensive even terrified about it...

Wish I could change my problematic part quick..only left with 2 weeks.. then probably no more.. but then again.. dun see why I have to change so much.. considering the fact that I have already said I've given up.. still.. I guess I still hope..

Wish my life will change to what I want..

It's been a long while since I last blog mainly coz of A levels...ah...about to leave it soon and enter the embrace of NS BMT...sianz...haha.

A levels was not what I expected...i never expected it to be this easy and difficult at the same time. I never expected myself possible of breaking down because of it. I never expected a whole lot of other things that I shall not mention at the risk of boring readers who come to read my boring blog.

But as this draws to a close...i dun want it to... coz then in just 2 weeks time I will end up in a totally new environment of NS...and seriously...this scares me... Me...the person whos so slack that the slowest tortoise can surpass me in speed....going to a place of extensive training... Also, in order to do this I'm gonna end up being deprived of all contact with friends since I'm the only one who's going in on the 8th... no one following me... and the prospect of this scares me... I haven't even settle all my friendship problems and I'm gonna just leave it all behind by being thrusted into a situation thats so foreign I expect it to be speaking Greek to me. So like theres so many things that i want to do in 2 weeks and its getting a bit hard to breathe when i think of all these things...things that must be done after A's...like trying to bridge all those gaps... buying all those stuff... doing all those things...I feel like I'm gonna jump off the deep end of the pool not knowing how to swim.

I guess this is gonna be a test of my faith. Will I end up drowning in a pool of whatever because my faith is weak and not strong enough to withstand the test...or am I gonna make it through and come out stronger? Seriously this kind of thing...only time will tell... in my nascent time(wonder if i used the word correctly...) I've seen things that totally differ from my expectations... So I seriously dunno the answer to that question...and my ignorance is scaring me. Like this should have been settled like maybe a month ago...so why am i worrying...maybe its not as settled as i thought...gonna have to think about that....but in the mean time...I'm clinging on desperately like a drowning man does to a life preserver to the definition of faith. The hope of achieving what cannot be seen at the moment...the trust in the unseen...the belief in God. Amen.

Just gonna have to make the most of my last 2 weeks as a free boy. Hoping to make my bitter loneliness go away before I delve into the depths of depravity in NS... thats the main thing I hope to do...and SOW... and go for prom...and one day of camp... and finish X-men legends 2... and go band for a day... and excercise... and...

Before I depress myself and end up breaking down again...I'm just gonna end with a nice song I found from Destiny's Child. Every now and then they do get a meaningful song out...which is why they remain one of my favourite girl groups...maybe the only one.... since there isnt much thats nice that haven officially broke up...

Stand Up For Love By Destiny's Child

[Beyoncé]
There are times I find it hard to sleep at night
We are living through such troubled times
And every child that reaches out for someone to hold
For one moment they become my own

And how can I pretend that I don't know what's going on
When every second with every minute another soul is gone

[Chorus]
And I believe that in my life I will see (ooh yeah)
An end to hopelessness, or giving up, of suffering
And we all stand together this one time
Then no one will get left behind
Stand up for life
Stand up and hear me sing
Stand up for love

[Kelly] I'm inspired and hopeful each and every day
That's how I know that things are gonna change
So how can I pretend that I don't know what's going on
When every second with every minute another soul is gone

[Chorus]
And I believe That in my life I will see
An end to hopelesness,of giving up, of suffering
And we all stand together this one time
Then no one will get left behind
Stand up for life
Stand up for love

[Michelle]
And it all starts right here
And it starts right now One person stand up there
And the rest will follow
For all the forgotten
For all the unloved I'm gonna sing this song

[Chorus]
And I believe that in my life I will see
An end to hopelessness, of giving up, of suffering
If we all stand together this one time
Then no one will get left behind
Stand up for life
Stand up and sing
Stand up for love
For love, for love

Only one day more. Am I afraid? Am I stressed? Am I in despair? Am I in panic? Nay nay and a thousand times nay.(I really should have taken lit)
Why not? To a certain extent...I know that stressing now brings nothing but bad grades in the end...should be cool.Another?I trust God.

It's really amazing. Sometimes I wonder why God even bothers with me...I'm like of not much talent, I can't connect well with people...still can't do it... I've tried and really...ever seen an egg try to break a rock?... I'm definitely not good physical wise...nor academically wise... nor musical wise despite what people think... nor anything wise... and yeah I have low self esteem...haha.

With all these kinds of thoughts, its pretty obvious that sometimes I think that God will be better off without me and so on and so forth. But nay nay and a thousand times nay(oh why din i take lit?). My realization came about erm...ok actually I dunno exactly which event did i derive my realization from...maybe its a mixture...like the flu buggy...just before A levels too... well thank God I feeling much better now...when in the past,from my experience...this level of flu would have last for at least 2 weeks...now it only lasted 4 days. So definitely something to thank God about. Problems with relating with others? Prayed for it and God sent me many solutions in many different forms. Though now I still have the problems,probably because I haven't the necessary skill to change anything. Have problems with pessimism? Yeah pretty pessimistic before,still am sometimes...and it leads to a whole lot of other problems...like losing temper...low self esteem and what not...but then over these 2 weeks especially... I prayed for self-control and patience...and although I still haven't broken out of this habit of looking at the bad side of everything, it significantly reduced itself,I guess its not very visible to most...I have been rather good at masking the good points and leaving the bad sides as spikes against the outer world...but then I do have more self-control.

Why am I mentioning this?I really dun get the main point...but its kinda a rant.See I almost blew up again today...and anyone who really knows me...which can be sum up as only God...since I doubt anyone else really bothers and I'm half confused about myself...would know that when I really do blow up its probably gonna literally cause me to go back to my loner-istic life all over again...so ya know ranting out...reminding myself that there's God in case I do forget...which is possible... So anyway, no idea why...but my heart received a few bolts of pain today...no its not gonna be a heart attack... just that like my heart breaks...haha...go figure...

Obviously I'm tired and in desperate need of sleep...I've been going in circles...the main point I want to make is actually however weak ye'll be,God is there to make ye strong. Believe in Him and all things will be possible.(actually this is more to me)

Good luck to all ye O level seadogs,keel haul the ol' S.S paper and have it walk the plank...haha...just a little pirate humour there...God bless all.

well...I'm feeling so horrible now...of all times for me to fall sick...i have to do it...just one week before A levels...and it can't be just a small cough thingy...it just has to be a flu thats almost as bad as the one that landed me in the hospital earlier this year...oh well these things do happen...cant exactly do much about it.
The good thing is that I'm not alone..I have God for one thing..and He's not gonna let something so insignificant stop me from taking my A levels with anything but a perfectly healthy body... Also I have a bunch of caring ppl around me...all through these few days I cant count the number of ppl who asked me to take care...to the point where i get a little irritated...haha..just kidding. Its always in times of trials and challenges that you can see who are really caring and who are not.

Service today was awesome even if i was half dead...din study much today...but fought off the fever virus so yeah feeling mighty accomplished now...haha.

Anyway i'm off to bed at this early hour since I'm super tired from all that fighting...haha...

just a few words today before i collapse....

sick...xuan man....tired...xuan man....
tomorrow cg....yay!

Just a short post so i can put a verse i read during QT...haha..

And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so,but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and characer,hope.
Romans 5:2b-4

This verse is like so apt for my current situation now. Not that I'm really suffering...but there are always problems to face,trials and challenges to conquer and so on. With each failure and trying again,get perseverance and this is something that I definitely need...I give up too easily...so like wow...this verse really struck me. Gonna figure out how to put this into my life...and build character and hope thru it.

Tomorrow public holiday...why! bcc closed...i cannot study there...argh!...nvm study at thompson most likely...haha....anyway zaoing...cya.

.:Welcome:.

Come one come all! To the craziest ball!

.:God's Word:.

Jeremiah 1:7-8
But the Lord said to me, " Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the Lord.

.:God's Creation:.

Name:ShaunJeremiah
DOB:27/03/87(big hint)
Reborn on:27/03/05
Baptised by the Spirit on:14/04/05
Baptised by water on:16/07/06
Church: Hope Church
Serving God in:NUSB2
Secondary Job:NUS Student
Loves: God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, My SB, My CGs(Past& Present), Singing, My instruments,Dark Chocolate, Air-con, My Mac, My ipod touch, my psp
Hates: lucifer, cockroaches, homework, exercise

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Hoppies
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.:Fellowship:.

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