HIS Creation

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

TIME: 11:06 PM

Today was just horrible...once again I felt like someone just stabbed me and twisted the blade for some reason...even though it was if i think rationally a small thing...
but then again...some times small things add up to one helluva problem right?

I felt abandoned and no one was willing to help me in anyway...all since to rather want to do their own stuff instead... even the supposed close friends... like one who was supposed to be one of the closest was studying somewhere else and i could just feel how reluctant he was at replying my sms by the time elapsed between each sms and when i asked him whether i could go there he implied no...well how nice...ah well... abandoned or not i guess i wasnt in the mood to study anyway...

Sometimes i wonder whether it was worth opening up my heart to friends.ever since the last two failed attempts at having best friends...i sort of closed myself up to any close friends...its lonely but at least i would never be hurt,which i really really hate...

Then this year,something changed and made me open my heart,at that time it was such a good thing that i was willing to open my heart more and more,but then as the time passed,I began to feel more and more as if they were taking me for granted,and more and more,I got hurt over and over again.Sure they say they care they were sorry,but did it ever occur to them that sorry was something like a small pebble in the face of a rushing flood of hurt and pain?

Im sorry for sounding so pessimistic,truly I want to have closed friends who can listen to me just as i listen to them,but then,so far friendship is batting zero and pain is batting a whooping dozen at least. I wish i could share my feelings with that closest friend,but he doesnt seem to understand anyway.

Maybe its just me,in keeping all those feelings inside these past few years to prevent anyone from hurting me, I lost the ability to share my feelings with others,and since they aren't exactly mind readers they cant know what i feel right?But still,i wish there was someone who would actually spare a thought for me everytime they do something,instead of doing it and then saying sorry like that would really help me. Maybe I should have just kept to myself instead of venturing out to the real world of hurt and pain.At least I could live a few more years of my life without the prospect of rejection and thoughtlessness.

I've been hurt so many times these few months that i can actually few my heart get heavy and my breaths get laboured frm it...I really don't want to feel them anymore.
If you're reading this and you know what I'm talking about, either lecture me or do something,I actually don't really care anymore.

.:Welcome:.

Come one come all! To the craziest ball!

.:God's Word:.

Jeremiah 1:7-8
But the Lord said to me, " Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the Lord.

.:God's Creation:.

Name:ShaunJeremiah
DOB:27/03/87(big hint)
Reborn on:27/03/05
Baptised by the Spirit on:14/04/05
Baptised by water on:16/07/06
Church: Hope Church
Serving God in:NUSB2
Secondary Job:NUS Student
Loves: God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, My SB, My CGs(Past& Present), Singing, My instruments,Dark Chocolate, Air-con, My Mac, My ipod touch, my psp
Hates: lucifer, cockroaches, homework, exercise

Wants/Wishlist: PS3, iPhone,soprano sax, another guitar, NUM tees, pedro shoes, new desktop, the new macbook.

.:God's Blessings:.

.:Fellowship:.

.:From Past To Present:.

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.:Credits:.

Designer: Cla ra
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